


Blood Of My Blood

by The_Stuttering_Kiwi



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel, Norse Mythology, norse lore - Fandom
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Character Death, Depression, Imagine Loki, Mental Illness, Norse Mythology - Freeform, Other, PTSD, PoW, Rape, Tumblr, Tumblr Prompt, Tumblr: imagine-loki, implied rape, norse lore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 01:28:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6136618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Stuttering_Kiwi/pseuds/The_Stuttering_Kiwi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the blog Imagine-loki on tumblr.<br/>Imagine Loki is actually Frigga’s biological son. During a previous battle with the frost giants, she was abducted by Laufey, who held her captive for over a year. When she was brought back to Asgard, she begged Odin to rescue her baby, who was conceived because of Laufey’s attacks upon her. Odin honored her request, but never treated Loki the same as his own son, Thor. And when it came time to tell Loki the truth about who he was, Odin could not bear to tell Loki that Frigga was his real mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Rescue

Frigga was scared to open her eyes for a long while. The last thing she remembered was the sounds of battle and men dying. She tried to hide in the small room where she was kept, but there wasn't much of an option besides squeezing herself under the bed she slept in. It was often that she heard these noises, Frost giants have short tempers and it was common for them to fight amongst themselves; it was also common for groups to rise up and try to kill the current ruler of Jotenheim and take control for themselves.

In the year she had been held captive, Frigga counted fifteen such instances, and each time Laufey had crushed his opponent without much effort; afterward he had insisted she celebrate with him.

But this time, the sounds were different and she recognized the sounds of Aesir men and the clang of their metal swords; the sound should have been exciting but conditioning made her want to hide anyway.

There was commotion outside of her room, she delved further under the bed until her body hit the wall behind her.

"I'll get the woman and take her to the temple; you are to keep the Asgardian pigs off of our trail," Laufey commanded.

 _Asgardian_? Frigga's heart gave a jump.

The door slid open and Laufey's heavy feet made the ice below crack under his weight, "Where are you, my little fireball?" He coaxed, amusement heavy on his voice; he knew there were only so many places she could be. He sauntered over to her bed, a bit more calmly than she expected given the situation, and flipped the bed over with ease.

"There you are." He grabbed her by the arm, any more pressure and it would have been snapped in two; he had made that mistake before; the golden band that kept her from performing magic at her wrist cut into her skin as he dragged her out of the room.

She knew better than to struggle and Laufey's cold scent filled her nostrils; she wondered if this would be the last time she would smell it.

There was commotion behind her; the sound of yelling and bodies hitting the frozen water behind her were like music, but she still didn't dare to hope that she would be rescued.

She remembered thinking of her son before everything went black.

If cold and ice were the last things she smelled before the blackness the exact opposite was what she was experiencing now. Instead of the cold, hard bed that she slept on she felt warm and comfortable; familiar smells reinvigorated her cells.

_Could she actually be home?_

"The Allmother needs her rest; she has been through enough of an ordeal."

"Eir…You know I respect your judgement, always, but I demand you let me through to see my wife."

_Odin?_

Eir sighed, "Allfather…she is not—"

"You don't need to tell me what those monsters did to her. I have thought of nothing else since she was taken, prisoner. Don't you think that it doest keep me awake knowing if I had put my foot down and not let her join me in battle that she wouldn't have been taken? It was too soon after Thor was born. I should never have allowed it. So I know she is not the woman that was taken from me. But she is home now, and I will see her."

The healer was silent for a few moments, "You need to prepare yourself, my Lord."

"What do you mean?"

"It seems," Eir cleared her throat, "It seems Queen Frigga had just recently…given birth."

Frigga's eyes flew open.

_Loki…_

The doors burst open and Odin's massive body filled the doorway, "Frigga." He rushed to her side and took her hand in his. It took a moment for her to get used to the warm contact.

"Where's my son?" Frigga asked, looking around him.

"Eir didn't think it would be good for Thor to be in the healing ward."

"No," She shook her head, "Not Thor."

"Frigga, Thor _is_ your son."

"I need to go back."

"What?"

"I need to go back."

"Frigga, what are you talking about? You are home now!"

"Did you find a baby? When you and your men found me, did you find a baby?"

"No."

"I need to go back." Frigga struggled to sit up and get out of bed.

"This is why I didn't want her to have visitors." Eir bustled taking a calming potion out of her pocket.

"No! I need to go back and get my baby!"

Eir administered the potion and waited for it to kick in, but Frigga fought, refusing to close her eyes again.

"You have to go back and get my baby."

"Frigga…why? All it would serve you is to have the constant reminder of what happened to you."

Frigga refused to listen, "You can't leave Loki there with him…bring him back!"


	2. Chapter 2

Odin stared opened mouthed for a few moments. "Frigga I can't possibly risk more men for...for...for a frost giants offspring!"

Frigga stared at him so ferociously that Odin flinched. "I am Queen of Asgard." A statement, not a question.

"Yes...but"

"That makes him a prince."

"But Frigga-"

"Enough! Either you go and bring my son here or I swear to the Norn's, Odin, I will go back myself."

* * *

Less than an hour later with enough men assembled, Odin stood with his best generals at his side at the Bifrost.

"I am sorry to bring you into this again, Baldr." Odin apologized.

"The Queen has been through a great torment; she would not have asked if she didn't truly love the child. No matter who sired it." Baldr replied with a sympathetic look. Odin knew he was sincere but also knew if it had been his wife who had been raped by the enemy, he would not be leading his men back into dangerous territory to bring that child home.

Seemingly able to read his thoughts, "The Queen is a strong woman." Baldr said firmly.

"Yes, yes she is." Odin nodded.

 _She would have to be_ , he thought _, to raise Laufey's son_.

Once they had arrived in Jotunheim, a place once teeming with Frost Giants they found the place utterly deserted.

Still…one can never be sure, so, of course, swords were drawn as the crept forward, into the city.

"I wonder if they are still where they retreated into the mountains." Baldr mused.

It was entirely possible, Odin thought. Not a lot of time had passed, maybe half a day, since the rescued Frigga and left the giants to wallow in their frozen world. This made Odin happy, until he thought that if the child was anywhere it would probably be with Laufey, and did not want to tangle with an army of Jotuns in the miles of mountain caves above them.

As they cleared each building it became evident that they were the only living things in the city and after a search of the palace, Odin was ready to give the child up as a loss.

But how could he explain it to Frigga?

"Allfather!" A soldier made a quick bow and didn't wait for permission to speak, "We found something in the temple!"

"Show me."

After climbing the numerous steps to the temple, Odin was shown into a dark room that his men had broken into, "I believe you had been wanting to get your hands on this." Baldr said with a smile.

"Oh, yes I have indeed." Odin said in awe of the casket before him, "Without the power of this on their side, they would be nothing more than mere pests on our doorstep." He picked the vessel up gingerly.

"I wonder why they left it here, it wasn't exactly hard to get at." One of the men commented.

"They probably left in a hurry and figured we wouldn't think to look."

There was a soft murmur among the men, words of glee and words commenting on the stupidity of the entire Frost Giant race.

"I want a full guard of men to take this back to the Bifrost site at once," Odin commanded, "It is to be taken to the vault and not left out of anyone's sight. I will prepare a more permeant protection when I return." He thought of the destroyer he had acquired; it would be perfect he mused.

There was a small whimper behind them, that because of the silence, made them all jump.

"Down the hall," Baldr whispered sword pointed in front of him.

Odin nodded and followed.

The long, icy hallway opened up into, despite his surroundings, beautiful domed room. There were elegant carvings of the three Norn's and in the middle of the room a large sculpture of Yggdrasil, all made from the purest ice available in the realm.

"Mimir's well must be nearby," Odin said in a hushed voice, what he wouldn't give for just a sip of water from that well of knowledge.

Baldr was looking at a detailed map of the universe that was etched into the wall to their left, "You would think that with a view as good as theirs, they would see that this place isn't the center of the realms." He pointed at where Jotunheim was in relation to the others.

"I am sure if we visited the other realms we would find much the same."

Baldr scoffed for a moment, but then something caught his eye, "My lord, I think we may have found that...other thing…. you were looking for." He said pointing at a squirming bundle, laid carefully between the roots of the carved tree.

"Oh, Hel," Odin muttered as he felt his stomach drop in time with his stooping to pick up what he knew had to be Frigga's son. He hadn't realized how much he was hoping they wouldn't find him.

"I think they left him here as a sacrifice to the Norns." One of the men observed.

"Hmm." Odin unwrapped the baby and was taken aback by the features of Frigga in the face of the frost giant child.

Whether as a survival instinct or simply because the child was a halfbreed, Odin sucked in a breath as he watched the baby change its skin tone and eye color to match his own.

Looking up at his men, each of whom have varying degrees of expressions, ranging from disgust to sympathy, he gave the order to leave the temple and return home.

* * *

Despite Eir's potion, Frigga refused to sleep, Hel, she even refused to blink for fear that her eyes might betray her and not open again.

She couldn't sleep knowing her baby was left in that place.

Frigga knew that Odin couldn't understand her needing to have Loki here with her, she knew no one would ever be able to understand it. If she was being honest with herself…she didn't quite understand it either. It would be a long road to recover from what happened to her but she knew in her heart Loki would not dampen her resolve to be the best mother to her two boys that she could be.

She felt guilty that she had not seen Thor yet, but knew that he was, at least, safe and comfortable, besides, he was young enough to know any better.

"Frigga?"

Lost in her thoughts she had not heard the doors open, but when her eyes found Odin in the doorway they traveled to the bundle in his arms.

"Oh, you brought him home!" She said through the lump in her throat.

"Yes, my love, I did." Odin handed the baby to her.

"I bet you are hungry aren't you, little one?" Frigga cooed, and started to lower the front of her sleeping gown.

"Frigga, we can find a wet nurse for that." Odin protested, but then realized no Asgardian woman would want to nurse him.

"Non-sense." Frigga lifted the baby to her breast and helped him latch on, "There, there." She caressed the black down that covered the baby's head.

And with the sound of Odin whispering with the nurse to make arrangements for a crib to be brought to the royal nursery and the sound of Loki contentedly suckling away Frigga finally let sleep wash over her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a super short chapter but I felt bad about not updating. I've had a lot going on so this is what I got for now.

Frigga tried to ignore the fact that Odin treated Loki differently from Thor. In the first weeks when Loki would cry, Odin would drag his feet hoping that someone would get to the child before he did. He didn't share Frigga's excitement when Loki said his first words or took his first steps; she was heartbroken when Loki was old enough to realize that Odin did not treat him the same as Thor.

"I don't see why you didn't punish Thor for what happened." Frigga said as she brushed her hair one night before crawling into bed, "Loki wasn't the only one who broke that vase."

Odin mumbled something, his go to defense.

"Why is it, Loki is the only one who is stuck polishing the silver while Thor and his friends go riding when he isn't the only one getting into trouble."

"It is for his own good."

"What is? Being unfairly punished?"

"To keep him in line."

"You can honestly think that—"

"Frigga, we have no idea what traits he will have. It's better to be cautious."

"Well, I don't agree with that, at all."

"You don't have to." Odin snapped, tired of the same argument.

"He is my son."

"And the son of my greatest enemy."

"That is not his fault, nor mine." Frigga drew herself to her full height.

"I understand that the boy cannot help who he is."

"But you won't let him be a normal child."

"He isn't a normal child."

Frigga held up her hands, "I have heard enough of this. I'll be sleeping in one of the other chambers tonight."

"Frigga…"

"Don't. I will not hear anything more about my Loki—he has done nothing wrong, nothing different than what other children do at his age."

"Frigga!" His tone made her clench her fists so hard her nails cut into her skin.

"Loki will be with me for training tomorrow," She said as she walked to the door.

"Training?"

"For magic."

And with that she slammed the chamber door; blocking the rest of Odin's protests.


	4. Chapter 4

Just as Frigga promised the night before, she pulled Loki out of training the following morning and took him for a walk in the gardens. At first, Loki was embarrassed that his mother had taken him away, he heard Thor and the others snicker that because he was so bad at fight training he had to do something else—with the Queen.

"Maybe she will train him how to do needlepoint!" Fandral snickered as Loki walked, eyes down, away from the group; everyone else broke out gut bursting laughter.

Loki couldn't pull his eyes up from the ground; he couldn't let anyone see how they burned with tears and how inflamed his cheeks were—it would only cause him to be crushed further.

"Loki?" Frigga spoke finally.

"What?" He muttered the reply and finally looked up to see that she had stopped several paces behind him.

"I want to show you something." She said brightly.

Loki blinked back tears, "Why did you pull me out of training?" The question came out angry and accusatory, Frigga blanched a bit at his tone.

"I want to show you something." She repeated, kneeling down by a flower bed and motioning for Loki to join her; he reluctantly knelt down by his mother and waited. "Watch." She ordered and waved a hand over the buds and before her hand finished moving they had begun to bloom, showing their bright purple petals.

"I know you can do magic."

"Why don't you show me what you can do?"

Loki looked up, "I can't do magic."

"And why not?"

"Thor says magic is a weak man's version of fighting."

"I don't think that's true."

Loki scoffed, considering all Frigga did was cause flowers to bloom he wasn't quite ready to believe her.

"Why don't you try to get them to close up again?"

Rolling his eyes, Loki mimicked her hand waving.

Nothing happened.

"See?"

"Well, you have to envision what you want to happen and concentrate," Frigga explained.

Loki sighed deeply and closed his eyes. If the others saw him kneeling in the flowers with his mother he would never hear the end of it, and the chances that they would take a break from training and head to the dining hall was increasing with every passing second. Maybe if he could do this he could get out of this stupid lesson. Keeping his eyes closed he imagined the bright purple blossoms closing—and waved his hand again.

"Look!" Frigga said excitedly shaking his shoulder; he opened his eyes to see that nearly all of the blooms had closed.

Loki cracked a smile.

"There are plenty of things that you can learn that will help you in combat, like creating doubles of yourself so your enemy is confused, conjuring armor and weapons, shapeshifting." She could tell she had Loki's attention, "Thor may think it's weak, but I have known many great warriors that relied on their magic."

Loki couldn't deny that he was excited and it must have shown because his grin was mirrored on his mother's face.

"So what do you say? Want to pick up some extra lessons with me?" She asked.

* * *

Loki threw himself into his magic lessons, which he found much more enjoyable than fight training, mainly because he had a natural talent for it and the added perk of less time with Thor. Frigga started him off slow, mastering the basics like opening and closing blossoms, moving objects, and some small conjuring. It took him awhile to catch on to shapeshifting (His favorite was sifting into birds), and then shifting into other people's forms (he may or may not be responsible for several of Thor's more recent punishments).

By the time Loki was of age he had mastered every level of sorcery he could; Frigga was incredibly proud of him while Odin appeared indifferent, even Thor was impressed by his younger brother. His skill had impressed the royalty of Vanaheim, and the King there had even offered a marriage proposal with his youngest daughter Sigyn—knowing that with Loki for a husband her magic wouldn't be choked off in Asgard.

"I think it's perfect," Frigga said fondly, watching Loki and Sigyn walk together in the gardens. She thought Sigyn complemented Loki well, shadowing his darkness with her light. They had hit it off immediately, Loki hadn't stopped smiling since he met her.

"I don't see why Loki will be married before Thor," Odin mumbled.

"Thor doesn't have any intention of being married yet." Thor, having a reputation for being rash in thinking and bouncing from girl to girl, wasn't anyone's first choice, despite being in line for the throne—although she had hopes for her eldest son and the Lady Sif.

"How does it look that the second born is married first?" Odin ignored her.

Frigga rolled her eyes, causing her to wince, she had had a headache since she woke up that morning and Odin wasn't helping It get any better. But that was only one problem on her plate—now that Loki was to be married, he should be told of his parentage.

"Absolutely not." Odin was shocked that she had even brought it up.

"He needs to know, she needs to know! It can't wait until she gives birth and if the child has any traits…"

"I am not against tell him to fathered him if need be, but I will not tell him about what…about what that monster did to you."

"Odin." She said softly.

"No."

"We cannot continue this lie, it will be hard enough for him, at least knowing that one of us is his natural parent will help."

"Frigga, I will not tell him that you are his mother—I will deal with whatever comes but I will not."

A wave of pain washed over Frigga, so she didn't feel like arguing, but resolving to tell Loki anyway, no matter what Odin said.

"Let's go, no time like the present." She tried to sound bright, but with the pain compounding in her head and no telling of what Loki and Sigyn's reactions will be, she wasn't sure if she sounded right.

Frigga dragged behind Odin, her vision becoming hazy and blurry. She could hear Odin call the couple over to them, but he sounded leagues away.

Loki's voice filtered through the blood rushing in her ears—but then everything went dark.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki paced the hall outside of the healing ward, anxiety chewing at every nerve.

"You should sit before you wear a canyon into the floor," Sigyn said calmly.

"How can I sit? I have no idea what is going on with my mother and Thor is nowhere to be found, probably drinking himself under a table somewhere." He clenched his fists, the vision of Frigga collapsing to the ground played over and over in his mind's eye.

"Try and sit anyway, love." She said again, patting the seat next to her. Loki could feel the calming effect he had on him wash over her, but his nerves beat them back. He had never felt so restless in his life, even sitting his legs kept bouncing and he rubbed his hands on the leather covering his legs so much he thought he could cause friction blisters to his palms.

"Where the Hel have you been?" Catching sight of Thor, Loki sprang to his feet.

"I was busy, where is father?" Thor asked looking around as if Odin were to pop right out of thin air.

"Which whore were you plowing into this time?" Loki snarled.

"Loki!" Sigyn gasped jumping to her feet and putting herself between Thor and Loki despite only coming up to mid chest on either of them, pushing the brothers apart.

"No! I want to know where he was while our mother is lying somewhere in the healing ward! I want to know which slut of which back alley tavern he had is cock buried in this time!"

Thor brought himself up to full height, "Do I smell like a mead barrel? Do I smell like I have just come from a woman's bed? No! I had if it makes you feel any better, taken the Lady Sif for a ride along the beach."

Loki had to admit that Thor smelled of neither thing, and the color on his cheeks very well could be from the sun and sand on the wind. A rational part of his brain told him that he wasn't really angry with Thor but Thor seemed the perfect target for his fear and frustration.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak the doors behind them opened and an ashen-faced Odin stumbled toward them.

"Father?" Loki's voice sounded strangled, but Odin ignored him and went to Thor—wrapping his arms around his oldest son. Eir, the head healer appeared tears running down her cheeks and after catching Loki's eye she shook her head solemnly.

"No." Loki shook his head vigorously, "No!" How could it be possible?

"Loki…" Sigyn placed her hand on his arm and he could feel her trying to use her magic to calm him—he shook her off.

"No."

He rushed passed Eir and into the healing ward where the rest of the healing staff stood shoulder to shoulder, head bowed, crying silently. He could see Frigga's form resting on the soul-forge, where the machine should be swirling with colors above her things were still. Loki's lungs screamed for air, reminding him to breathe, but he seemed to have forgotten how. Willing his legs to push forward he approached where his mother lay and as his eyes took in the shallow, waxen appearance her skin had taken on, his stomach threatened to expel its content. How could she look like this? He reached a shaky hand to touch Frigga's where hers were folded on her stomach. How could someone who showed everyone so much warmth be so cold? He drew his hand back quickly and stumbled backward.

"Loki?" Sigyn's small voice called to him from back by the doors.

His legs managed to move—drawn to the comfort of her voice, but they gave out on him as he collapsed on the floor and as Sigyn wrapped herself around him, did he begin to weep freely.

* * *

Frigga's funeral passed in a blur. Loki knew the only reason he made it through was because of Sigyn reminding him to eat, sleep, and when to change his clothes. Thor had been spending most of his time with Lady Sif while Odin had shut himself up in his chambers. The needs of running the realm had started to pile up and neither Odin nor Thor seemed to want to deal with it, so Loki was left with the task of running the throne room.

Loki found himself looking forward to the late afternoons in the library with Sigyn. They had pushed two plush arm chairs together underneath a large picture window and would sit together by the hour, books in one hand and holding each other's in the other. It was in these moments that the loss of Frigga seemed bearable.

It was before dinner one night when Odin made his way into the library, he motioned for a chair to be brought for him to sit in front of Loki and Sigyn.

"You have done a good job handling the running of the kingdom, just as well as Thor or I could have done, given the situation." He began.

Loki was a little surprised at the rare compliment that he almost didn't know how to react until Sigyn gave his hand a knowing squeeze, "Thank you."

"Frigga and I were going to talk to the two of you that…that day."

"I know," Loki replied, his chest already tightening at the mention of his mother.

"We should have brought this to you sooner than that even, given how close the two of you are now, and the engagement. I sincerely hope this doesn't change anything."

Sigyn and Loki exchanged a worried glance, "What are you talking about?" Sigyn asked.

"Loki, you are not full blooded Asgardian." Each word Odin spoke weighed heavy in Loki's brain.

"What?"

"You mother was captured by the frost giants, during a battle, and was kept prisoner. You were conceived and born there. An offspring of their king."

A strange noise rang in Loki's ear—he shook his head to try to get rid of it, "But you and Frigga—you raised me?!"

"Frigga insisted when you were found and brought back to Asgard that we raise you as our own."

It didn't surprise Loki that Frigga would take a child in, no matter whose child it was, but Odin was the last person he would expect to care for an enemies offspring, "But why did _you_ bring me back? Why did _you_ raise me as your own and let me think you were my parents?"

Odin's back stiffened, "I thought perhaps if issues rose again with the Frost Giants, I thought with you, we could avoid a war and deal with each other more peacefully. But that hadn't mattered for a long time. You were raised with Thor, played with him, fought at his side. You are our son, just as Thor."

Loki dropped the book and Sigyn's hand and gripped the armrests of the chair so hard that his knuckles turned white, "So I was nothing more than another relic you found in your travels? I suppose I should be thankful that I was raised in comfort, rather than locked in your damned vault!"

"Please, don't twist my words." Odin suddenly looked very tired.

Loki opened his mouth again but Sigyn gave his hand another squeeze, "Why are you telling us now?" She asked calmly.

"Frigga wanted you to be told before your wedding and before any children were to be born."

"It doesn't matter to me who Loki is," Sigyn said defiantly.

Odin nodded, "I am glad to hear it." Although he was, it wasn't shown in his voice and he stood to leave.

"But my mother, who was she?" Loki stood and grabbed Odin by the arm.

"Just a warrior…a very brave woman." Odin pulled himself from Loki's grasp and left them to their thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

Loki sat back down heavily, feeling physically wounded like he had been trampled by a rampaging herd of Bilgesnipe . How could they have lied to him about such a basic thing? He looked down at his own hands, which seemed no different to those around him; gritting his teeth he cast a form of himself to stand before them, again nothing out of the ordinary.

"Loki, stop." Sigyn's voice was gentle as she waved a hand and caused the illusion to shimmer away.

"I don't understand."

"My love, it makes no difference."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it doesn't change who you are," She shrugged simply, "You are still Loki, still a prince of Asgard, still God of Mischief, still _my_ Loki." She placed a hand over his.

He shook her off, jumping to his feet again, ignoring the hurt look on her face at the action, "But I am not! I'm Loki, pretended son of Odin and Frigga, bastard offspring of Laufey, a half-breed."

"No one will see it that way."

"Why did they lie?"

"I am sure your father and—"

"He is not my father!"

Sigyn pressed on, "And your mother—"

"She's not."

"Oh, Loki…" She shook her head sadly.

"What?" He snarled

"Frigga was more of a mother to you than any woman who had given birth to you could have been. She shared all of her gifts with you, she raised you as an equal to Thor, and she never treated you any different. She was your mother." She wrapped her arms around him, "And let's not forget, it was her that brought us together." Loki flinched away from her, leaving her standing alone; arms still held slightly aloft, "Do you not love me anymore? Has this news changed you that much already?"

"You can stop pretending Sigyn."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you were told the same stories children here were told. Your father fought beside Odin during the wars, you know what they are! How can you still want me? How will your family still let you marry me even if you did?"

"Because it's not who you are!" She repeated, "You are who Odin and Frigga raised you to be! Anyone can see that and my family certainly will and it most definitely doesn't make any difference to me."

Loki stood in silence for a while, allowing the new feeling of self-loathing to wash over him. It wasn't an entirely unfamiliar feeling, being second place to Thor in Odin's eyes all of his life certainly made Loki pick himself apart from time to time, but this was different; this self-loathing rolled and scalded his insides, he felt as if he could rip flesh from his bones if it would make him feel better.

"How could they lie to me?"

"I imagine they wanted to protect you from feeling like this." Sigyn's voice was thick from watching Loki struggle with himself, "It wasn't right, but I imagine they thought they were doing right by you."

"I want to hear him say it. I want him to tell me about my real mother."

"Then go, ask him. And don't leave until you get the answers you need."

* * *

Loki found himself standing outside of Odin's chamber in the middle of a flurry of activity.

"What happened?" He asked Thor stiffly when he reached his brother. _Pretended brother_ , he clarified to himself.

"One of his attendants found him collapsed. Eir said he has fallen into the Odin sleep, probably because of the stress of loosing mother. She is worried for him."

 _How convenient_ , Loki thought bitterly.

"Looks like we will be in charge for a while," Thor said, not picking up on Loki's mood.

"What are you talking about?"

"With father unable to rule, that role falls to me, but you have more knowledge of handling the realm as of late so I am going to need your help. I am actually considering just letting you take over; I don't know if I can handle the responsibilities."

Loki let out a bark of laughter that startled a maid walking by.

"What's so funny?" Thor asked bemused.

"This is just too perfect!" He wheezed, "Odin has fallen into the Odin sleep, running away from his troubles," He leaned against the wall for support, "And leaves you and me in charge and I'm not even his son!" Loki's hysterical laughter caused everyone to back away.

"What are you talking about?" Thor asked.

"Odin found me on Jotenheim and brought me back here to be raised as some political experiment! I am only half-Asgardian!"

"Loki! What joke is this?!" Thor demanded, grabbing Loki by the shoulders and shaking him, which only made him laugh harder.

"It's my life brother! Although, we may need different titles to each other now that we are not really brothers."

"Who told you this lie?"

"Odin! Just before falling to sleep I expect."

Thor stared at Loki wide-eyed for a long moment, "It doesn't matter," He declared, "You were raised as a prince here and you share in the responsibilities."

"Didn't you hear me?" Loki's laughter stopped abruptly, anger taking its place, "I am not a prince here."

"I heard you. But you hear me, brother, I tell you it doesn't matter. The past few weeks you have learned how to run this realm and the people trust you. Now you need to pull yourself together and act like the Prince mother raised you to be!"

And like flipping a switch Loki began laughing again.

Thor motioned to Eir, "Perhaps you can make a sleeping potion for my brother, a strong one."

* * *

When Loki next opened his eyes he was laying sideways in his bed, clothes still on, and an empty drinking goblet in his hand. He felt sore all over and had a raging headache. Rolling out of bed he stood on slightly unsteady legs and froze in front of the mirror by his wardrobe.

Maybe he should have realized something was off when his whole family had golden hair and he stood alone with raven black, where Thor and Odin were large and intimidating he was lean but not at all soft. Waving his fingers that lay limply at his sides his clothes shimmered away leaving him naked. His eyes raked his body for some telltale sign of his true parentage that maybe he had missed, but saw nothing. How could he look so normal but be part monster?

Gritting his teeth, he concentrated, and watched in horror as his fair skin changed to an ice blue, littered with the tribal lines of the Frost Giants, his once green eyes glared back at him red, and his used his hands to conjure daggers of ice. Loki dropped them almost as soon as they were formed and they clattered on the stone floor, reaching a shaking hand he touched the glass in front of him, which froze instantly. His heart rate quickened and as his self-loathing boiled over, he slammed a fist into the mirror, causing pieces of glass to cascade everywhere. He relished in the sharp sting as the shards cut into the bottoms of his feet as he made his way back to the bed. He felt a pang of guilt for the maid who would have to sweep up the glass and try to scrub the blood out of the stone floor and out of the bed sheets, and closed his eyes as another wave of exhaustion washed over him.

* * *

Sigyn woke early the next morning to the sound of someone pounding on her chamber door. The sun had barely begun to come over the horizon and everything was washed in a pale pink light.

"I am sorry, your Highness, but you cant possibly see Princess at this hour." Sigyn heard one of the maids saying.

"Please, it will only take a moment." Loki's voice was muffled but there was no doubt at his urgency.

Sigyn leaped out of bed and pulled on her dressing gown and rushed to the front of her chambers.

"It's okay!" She said as she tied the belt and cinched the garment closed.

"But Princess it isn't appropriate!" The maid said clearly scandalized.

"I promise you, I can handle myself in case the prince decides he _just has_ to have me." She smiled kindly.

The maid clearly torn between doing what she was directly told and what good sense demanded left the pair reluctantly.

When she was out of earshot Sigyn whispered, "I was only kidding, ravish me if you must." Hoping to get a smile out of him, nothing. "Whats wrong?" She asked when his serious expression hadn't changed.

"Do you still wish to marry me?"

"Of course, I do."

"Do you want to get married tomorrow?"


End file.
